“My mind holds only what I think with God,” is the key thought we will contemplate as we go through this next review, so let’s begin by looking deeply at what that means.

Interestingly, the dictionary does not define ‘think’ as the ongoing mental chatter in the mind, although most people tend to think that chatter is thinking. The dictionary defines ‘think’ as “to have a conscious mind” or “to have in consciousness.”

Therefore, “My mind holds only what I think with God” means that anything we are conscious of that is not truth is temporary. Only truth is lasting. And it is this simple fact that sets the stage for the contemplation of every lesson that we will review over the next ten days.

Sometimes A Course in Miracles uses the term “real thoughts” to refer to the thoughts we think with God. Real thoughts are the environment of pure consciousness. You can think of them as attitudes or ways of being. Real thoughts include:

~ All-is-well (peace)
~ Open embracing acceptance (love)
~ An inherent sense freedom—a sense of soaring from within (joy)
~ Intimacy with everything (oneness).

Patience, allowance and compassion are the reflections of our real thoughts.

So, “My mind holds only what I think with God” means that only these qualities are lasting. Everything else that appears in consciousness is temporary and passing.

With this in mind, we are asked to contemplate each day’s review lessons. The review instructions say, “Let each word [in the review lessons] shine with the meaning God has given it, as it was given to you through His Voice. Let each idea which you review that day give you the gift He has laid in it for you …”

As an example, here is my contemplation of today’s review lessons. They were contemplated with “My mind holds only what I think with God” in mind:

Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Forgiveness does not give value to the temporary. It gives value only to that which is lasting. Therefore, it lets the temporary come and go while it reflects only on truth.

Forgiveness offers everything I want, because all that I want is truth. Even when I make the mistake of seeking by letting attention dwell temporarily with mental chatter, I am really looking for the qualities of consciousness. Therefore, letting go of mental chatter and resting in consciousness is the answer that provides everything I want.

Today’s lesson speaks of “happy dreams the Holy Spirit brings” and says they are “different from the dreaming of the world.”

With the mindset of the world, a happy dream would be a dream where all of my problems are resolved. I have enough money. I am healthy. There is only peace in all of my relationships. I feel free to do the things I want to do and do not feel burdened or obligated to do things I do not like to do. Etcetera.

The happy dream the Holy Spirit brings is different than that idea of the happy dream. “The dreams forgiveness lets the mind perceive do not induce another form of sleep, … His happy dreams are heralds of the dawn of truth upon the mind.”

In other words, the happy dream that the Course speaks of has nothing to do with our situation in the world. It is a dream that comes from the gradual realization of truth. Eastern traditions often call this equanimity or detachment, but since those words can be misunderstood by the mind that hasn’t experienced them directly, let me explain the happy dream using different words.

In the happy dream, we are coming to know the true Self as a direct experience. We see with increasing clarity that we are not threatened or affected by anything. We are falling in love with the fact that we are the true Self and not the body-mind-personality.

As our attention moves toward the true Self as truth, and that becomes primary in our awareness, the body-mind-personality and its story shift back and become secondary. It’s not that we ignore problems; when things arise that need to be dealt with we deal with them effectively. It’s just that we don’t feel threatened by them. Our happiness doesn’t hinge on a specific outcome. We are able to be with the dream as if it is a temporary dream, while knowing that we are beyond it.

That’s the happy dream. Although it may include health, health is not required. Although it may include financial abundance, financial abundance is not important at all. In fact, the happy dream is described well in both NTI and The Teachings of Inner Ramana:

From NTI 1 Corinthians: “What is received when all that is false has been let go is only that which reflects truth. This, which is received as truth, shall fill you with new eyes and a joyous heart. … It is upon this recognition, which is the completeness of recognition within time, that you enter the fourth and final earthly phase of the path of truth with Me. The fourth phase is a glorious phase, upon which your feet shall barely touch the ground. As you walk the earth, you know where you walk, so that the earth is merely a symbol within the mind. You shall not know brothers, but you shall talk to them. You will not need food, but you will eat with joy. Music shall accompany you in your every moment, and yet, you will have no need for your ears. Your sight will be changed from earthly sight to sight that is provided from Heaven. All things shall be new, and you shall have no need for any of them. In this, your joy shall be complete.”

From The Teachings of Inner Ramana: “Self-realization is all that matters, because when Self is realized nothing else affects it. Illness does not affect it. Poverty does not cause it harm. Loss of a friendship is no loss at all. The realized Self is full . . . full enough that it may allow the outward symbols to be what they may, and it does not lose its awareness of Self. Therefore, it does not lose its knowledge and awareness of love.”

As mentioned yesterday, the purpose of Lesson 140 is to clarify the goal. The goal has nothing to do with outcomes in the world. Things will always shift and change in the world. Problems will come, problems will be resolved and new problems will come to replace them. We aren’t seeking the end of the dream being the dream. We are transcending the dream and awakening from it. That is the goal.

The primary purpose of today’s lesson is to clarify the goal.

When people believe they suffer because of a specific problem in form, it is easy to think their answer lies in resolving that specific problem. However, one problem follows another problem in the changing world of form. The only answer that resolves all problems is awakening to truth.

There are several sentences in today’s lesson that attempt to make that clarification:

~ “Cure” is a word that cannot be applied to any remedy the world accepts as beneficial. … Its forms of healing thus must substitute illusion for illusion.

~ [The patient] merely had a dream that he was sick, and in the dream he found a magic formula to make him well. Yet he has not awakened from the dream, and so his mind remains exactly as it was before.

~ What difference does the content of a dream make in reality? One either sleeps or wakens. There is nothing in between.

~ [Holiness] does not make distinctions between unrealities. … It merely focuses on what it is, and knows that no illusion can be real.

~ There is no remedy the world provides that can effect a change in anything. The mind that brings illusions to truth is really changed.

The lesson also says, “We will try today to find the source of healing, which is in our minds because our Father placed it there for us.” (In this context, “healing” is synonymous with awakening.)

This is why we practice awareness-watching-awareness meditation. We focus within on awareness, our true Self. Our true Self is the source of healing. It is the light that awakens.

We do not need to resolve our worldly problems in order to practice awareness-watching-awareness daily. Awareness is always present, so it can always be watched regardless of what problems are present in our daily life now. All we need is the desire to spend some time each day being with our true Self.

During awareness-watching-awareness, we aren’t looking for anything in form to change as a result of our practice. Instead, we are taking a break from all illusions in order to focus solely on truth for a period of time.

The goal is not to change the dream. The goal is to awaken from it.

It is okay to seek resolution to problems that come up in the dream. If there is a headache, it is okay to take aspirin. If a job ends, it is ok to look for another job. However, keep in mind that this is all dream stuff. Let the dream be the dream, AND remain clear on the goal. It is possible to do both by keeping the mind focused in the direction of truth. This is often referred to as “being in the world but not of it.”

Remember that the only resolution that can be a cure (a successful and permanent remedy from suffering) is awakening to truth. Everything else is temporary relief from suffering at best. Temporary relief is acceptable and can be helpful, but it isn’t the goal.

I love, love, love today’s workbook lesson. It is so simple and clear! Yet, I don’t think I saw it that way the first time I did the Course in Miracles Workbook. I don’t think I knew what it talked about then when it said, “Who is the doubter? … He has accepted [truth] because he lives; has judged against it and denied its worth, and has decided that he does not know the only certainty by which he lives.”

Complicated minds can deny the simple obvious truth. What’s the truth?

Actually, I like these words: “Heaven is the decision I make.” In other words, I don’t need to wait for any additional learning to make that decision. I make it now.

There is an idea that there is something we have to learn about truth. There is nothing necessary to learn about truth, although some learning does help us to make the choice for truth. That’s really the only purpose of learning … to bring us to the point where we decide to decide for truth.

There’s an interesting line in today’s Course lesson. It says, “…the choice of Heaven seem[s] to be the same as the relinquishment of hell.” If one looks carefully at that line, you will see that truth is beyond ‘preferred’ and ‘not preferred.’ Truth is something that stands true now, even if your life seems like hell because there is so much ‘not preferred’ happening in it right now.

This is why awareness-watching-awareness is called the direct path. It is a practice that recognizes truth is now, and it chooses to give attention to truth now; attention ignores illusion and goes directly to truth.

A Course in Miracles is not the direct path. It says that itself in today’s lesson. It says, “But knowledge is beyond the goals we seek to teach within the framework of this course. Ours are teaching goals, to be attained through learning how to reach them, what they are, and what they offer you. Decisions are the outcome of your learning, …”

In other words, A Course in Miracles is like preparatory school. It helps prepare you to make the choice for truth. And that is the only purpose of learning, to prepare you. However, it is possible to go directly to being prepared without needing to learn volumes of information first.

I share this, because I hope you will realize there is nothing to learn. You only need to become prepared to make the choice for truth. And you can make that choice now, whether your life has become a ‘good dream’ or remains a ‘bad dream.’ Happy dreams can come before awakening, but one can awaken directly from a bad dream too.

Today’s lesson says, “Heaven is chosen consciously. The choice cannot be made until alternatives are accurately seen and understood. All that is veiled in shadows must be raised to understanding, to be judged again, this time with Heaven’s help.”

That’s the purpose of inquiry, which we will go deeper into over the coming weeks. We question our thinking to see its worthlessness and untruth. As we see that clearly, we are willing to let go of our thinking and choose only truth. After all, “Who can decide between the clearly seen (aka, our thoughts and perceptions) and the unrecognized (truth)? Yet who can fail to make a choice between alternatives when only one (truth) is seen as valuable; the other (thoughts and perceptions) as a wholly worthless thing.”

So let’s let go of the idea that we have to be masters of learning. It’s okay if we don’t learn anything. It’s okay if we can’t remember yesterday’s workbook lesson today.

Focus on the practice. When we focus on the practice to the best of our ability in every moment, we are choosing Heaven.

I have experienced miraculous physical healing. The first time it happened, it was a broken toe. I broke my pinkie toe around 5pm one evening. I was guided to put a tight sock on the foot and to ice it, but not to go to the doctor. The next morning the entire top half of my foot was black and blue and in a lot of pain. I could not touch the foot to the floor at all, so I walked on my heel. I was again guided to wear a tight sock, ice the toe, and not go to the doctor.

About 5pm that evening, 24 hours after the toe was broken, I received guidance to be healed. I sat on the sofa. I began to feel a flow of love. The love came in through the top of my head and traveled through my body to my toe. After a few minutes it stopped.

I stood up. I could stand on the foot with no pain. I jumped on the foot. No pain. It was definitely healed in only a few minutes.

I’ve always felt the reason I lived with the broken toe for 24 hours is so I was sure it was broken. If it had been healed too quickly, my mind would have discounted the healing by saying, “It must not have been as bad as I thought it was.” But since I lived with it for 24 hours, I know how bad it was, and I cannot discount the miracle that occurred in that few minutes.

Today’s lesson says, “Healing is freedom. For it demonstrates that dreams will not prevail against the truth.” That was an important lesson for me. I did not fully believe in the truth. Although I pursued the truth, I believed the world was real. That belief was seriously shaken by the experience of the toe.

I have never felt the healing itself was particularly important. I have always felt that the lesson that came from the healing is what was important.

Today’s lesson refers to healing as a “counter-dream.” I think it is important to realize that both sickness and health are illusions. Some people make the mistake of putting health above sickness spiritually. They feel sickness is a sign of spiritual weakness or failure, and health is the badge of spiritual success. That is not at all true. There are some very healthy people who have not even started to move towards spiritual awakening, and there are enlightened people who have had sick bodies.

Sickness does not indicate that you are spiritually weak or failing. If you are one who feels burdened by this idea, please realize that it is an untrue thought.

Also, the spiritual path isn’t about replacing bad dreams with good dreams. It is about awakening from dreams entirely.

With that said, we will each learn lessons as we awaken, and for some of us, physical healing will be a part of that experience. As today’s lesson says, “Yet think not healing is unworthy of your function here. For anti-Christ becomes more powerful than Christ to those who dream the world is real.”

This is my humble advice regarding physical healing:

~ Remember that physical healing is not the goal. It may occur along the way if it is helpful to you, but the goal is spiritual awakening.

~ Watch the mind for ideas that may create sickness or block the opportunity for healing. There are many types of ideas that fall into that category including ‘miraculous healing isn’t possible,’ ‘I am not worthy of miraculous healing,’ and ‘I am guilty,’ especially if one sees a relationship between one’s guilt and the sickness. Also, most people get a subtle pleasure from sickness. It is a pleasure that is often fleeting and can easily be denied, especially as one tires of the suffering, but if one looks you can find it. You may like the break from work. You may like the special attention from others. Sickness can even make us feel special. Etc.

~ Notice that awareness is constant and unchanging. Awareness is the same in health and sickness. Pay close attention to notice that awareness is more intimately you than the body. Notice that the body has no affect on you whatsoever.

~ Let go of all ‘rules’ and ‘judgments’ about sickness and health. The path of awakening happens differently for different people. Some awaken through allowing sickness and noticing they aren’t the body. Some receive a boost in faith through miraculous healing. There is no rule about how this has to look.

~ Remember that what is most important is what is always most important: Inquire into false beliefs; let go of ego thinking; practice awareness-watching-awareness; be tuned in for your personal intuitive guidance and follow it.

The spiritual path requires more honesty than the mind is capable of. That means that in order to know what is best for you on this path, you have to let go of your individual thinking.

I want to simplify this lesson so it is most helpful. Instead of focusing on sickness, I want to focus on defenses against truth.

We all have our ways of defending against the truth and then denying that we are the one who set up those defenses. Sickness has never been a big defense for me, although I can see that it is for some people. I have used ‘responsibility’ and ‘busyness’ much more than I have used sickness to defend against truth.

Let’s look at what this lesson has to say about the defenses we set up against truth:

~ “Defenses are not unintentional nor are they made without awareness.” — In other words, there is a conscious decision in favor of the defense. If my defense is sickness, there could be a tickle in the throat and then an immediate, even somewhat pleasurable, acceptance of, “I’m getting sick,” before I move into suffering. If my defense is busyness, there could be the joy of complaining about how busy I am to others. Or it might show up as using time on unimportant things first, until once again I create that sense of being too busy. Etc.

~ “They seem to be unconscious but because of the rapidity with which you choose. … It is this quick forgetting of the part you play in making your ‘reality’ that makes defenses seem to be beyond your own control.” — Whatever our defenses are, we create situations that keep us from seeking truth with our whole heart, whole mind and whole soul. Most people, wanting to believe their defenses are genuine, deny that they choose them. However if we watch ourselves carefully, we will find ourselves making the choices that create defense situations. It can be seen, if we want to see it. (Remember not to judge yourself for what you find when you watch to discover your own defenses, but it is helpful to see how you block your own awakening so you can start to make different decisions when a similar choice-opportunity comes around again.)

~ “Yet who believes illusions but the one who made them up? Who else can see them and react to them as if they were the truth?” — And this is what we do. Whether our defense is sickness, family responsibility, busyness or something else, we decide to let it get in the way of seeking truth, and then we believe the situation is a genuine block that renders us helpless, because that is what we want to believe about it.

~ “[Truth] does not command obedience … Truth merely wants to give you happiness, for such its purpose is.” — We have the power to delay our own awakening for as long as we want. Truth will not force itself on us. We are the ones who need to ask ourselves, “What do I really want?” If we decide that we are interested in truth realization, then it is helpful to find how we defend against it.

Hint: If you want to find how you defend against truth, start listening to yourself. What do you complain about? Your defense hides there.

Also, how do you finish this sentence?: “I’m not able to do the Gentle Healing homework (or not able to journal, or contemplate, or meditate, etc) because …”

Your defense shows up at the end of that sentence.

Now remember, you might not at first believe that is your defense. It may seem like a genuine situation that is out of your control, but this lesson teaches us that we set up our defenses to look that way.

Since memory can be faulty, I don’t recommend looking into the past to see if you set up this defense. If the defense is still an obstacle for you, it is because you continue to set it up as an obstacle now. Watch yourself going forward. Watch yourself for those quick decisions that you make that keep this defense in place so you can continue to avoid awakening.

Let’s bring awareness to the tricks that we play on ourselves. Let’s do this together, in love, as mighty companions joined in purpose.

Today’s lesson is about Self-inquiry, ‘Who am I?’ And then it is about taking Self-inquiry one-step further by living from the answer.

Today’s lesson tells us that we use many forms of defense to try to protect who we think we are, and in so doing we hide the truth about ourselves from ourselves. We try to protect the body, because we think we are the body. We try to protect the psyche, because we think we are the psyche. Yet we are neither.

One form of defense that today’s lesson talks about is health. All of us take some steps each day to protect the health of the body, such as eating food, drinking water, possibly taking vitamins, etc. Is this wrong? I think not. We also take care of our homes, our yards, our automobiles, etc. Basic actions that come naturally are not the problem. Obsessive thinking about health & attempts to CONTROL health are the problems.

A question we can ask ourselves is, “Do I think excessively about the health (or safety or appearance) of the body?” If so, attachment to the body is a block to truth for you.

Today’s lesson tells us that the body “need merely be perceived as quite apart from you.” — Practice Self-inquiry. Ask, “Who am I?” and look to discover the truest answer to that question. “This is the body’s only real defense. Yet is this where you look for its defense?”

Another form of defense that today’s lesson talks about is planning. We may plan for the protection of the body or we may plan for the protection of the psyche. Either way, the “mind engaged in planning for itself is occupied in setting up CONTROL of future happenings.”

Does this mean it is wrong to plan a lunch date with a friend or plan to go to a retreat or on vacation? I think not. This is not referring to practical planning that is naturally a part of a human life. Obsessive thinking about the future and attempts to CONTROL future outcomes are the problem.

A question we can ask ourselves is, “Do I think I need some things to go a certain way in order for me to be safe/happy?” If so, you have become attached to the psyche’s idea of itself, and that is a block to truth for you.

Today’s lesson tells us that “self-initiated plans … are the means by which a frightened mind would undertake its own protection, at the cost of truth.” — Practice Self-inquiry. Ask, “Who am I?” and look to discover the truest answer to that question.

Today’s lesson recommends that we live from the answer to our Self-inquiry. Instead of falling back into ways of being that are intended to protect the body or psyche as who I am, the lesson suggests, “Let no defenses but your PRESENT TRUST direct the future, and this life becomes a meaningful encounter with the truth…”

There is a difference between trying to control things and living from present trust. There is a difference in how they feel. This difference in feeling gives us the opportunity to be honest with ourselves, if we pay attention.

Will we accept whatever experiences come in this lifetime, whether they are what we would have preferred or not, and use them to further our awareness of truth?

Whether I am sick or healthy, I can ask, “Who am I?” and see the answer. Whether I am rich or poor, I can ask, “Who am I?” and see the answer. Whether I live in one place or another, am married or single, have this or that, I can ask, “Who am I?” and see the answer.

What if we live our lives in this way?: Although some basic planning and taking care of one’s body will occur, the attitude is one of openness, allowance and trust with only the purpose of truth realization. For example, what if I plan for a vacation, pay for a vacation and then something occurs. I cannot go and I lose the money paid. Can I live with that as happily as I would have lived with the vacation? After all, going or not going can both be a distraction from Self-inquiry, and Self-inquiry can occur whether I go or don’t go, so has anything really changed at all?

Instead of living from our beliefs about who we think we are, let’s begin to live from Self-inquiry with self-honestly.

Pay attention to yourself. What beliefs about yourself are you living from?