A friend of mine many years ago had this saying. “The only difference between a pat on the back and a kick in the pants is about 24 inches.” Interesting thought. I’ve noticed that the tendency to give praise is pretty common in most groups, especially as people want to fit in, make people happy and feel included. Disapproval is usually expressed in silence. Nothing is said. But of course, because you didn’t get praised, you know what it means. I’ve experienced this in my own life. Both the pats on the back and the kick in the butt. I’ve also played the praiser and the silent one. There’s something in me though that sees that as part of the ego playground. I don’t want to play there anymore so I’m wondering how to be supportive and loving without connecting to the ingrained triggers of these behaviors.

So I guess the answer is the same one for every issue...be quiet, ask for guidance and be aware of what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. Being aware of the right-mind and chose it.