After hearing that Shawna lost her home in the recent wildfire that destroyed most of Paradise, California, Regina wrote to Shawna asking about her experience. This is Shawna’s answer to that question.
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Thank you for your interest in how I’m experiencing the fire. First I want to set up the situation because I was so blessed and taken care of by Grace. I was in Sebastopol, CA (Sonoma county) 3 hours away from Paradise when the fire started Nov. 8. I was pet sitting. So I didn’t experience the evacuation. I fall to my knees in gratitude when I think of it.
I first heard about the fire when I turned on the phone at 9:00am. I usually wait until after meditation and homework for Gentle healing to turn on the phone. I immediately got an alert to evacuate. After determining the alert wasn’t local, I noticed texts from friends in Paradise, telling me to get out now. I felt great fear for my friends. I looked up a few websites and grew very concerned. I stopped, took a few deep breaths and turned towards the Peace that is ever Present. This shift allowed me to flow from this place of Peace even as I cried, felt worry and helplessness arise. A friend called and we cried. I returned to Peace. I went to a friend’s house to go for a walk and I cried, but returned to Peace. I held everyone in the Light and saw them as Perfect. I couldn’t see the fire as perfect.
As I recieved more texts and calls from concerned friends, I handled each one as it arose in the moment with Presence and concern for them. It was interesting to watch how each person had their own interpretation, their own reaction and expectations. I also noted a discomfort in me around accepting the offers of help. I’m usually the one giving. I actually don’t need much, so I gratefully declined most offers. In fact, because I had a lot of my stuff with me, including most of my personal files, I didn’t think about my stuff in the house until much later. My concern was about the safety of people, animals and my beloved forest! My heart hurt thinking of the suffering that was and continues now.
I noticed my ego loved the drama and attention. I watched the news for several days, then quit. I don’t have TV, radio or internet and the cell service is poor here, so I’m pretty insulated from the news now. I noticed the incredible level of fear from my friends here, in Sonoma county. They went thru a very destructive fire a year ago. The smoke from Paradise really freaked people out here. The air quality is still very dangerous here! People here are also very empathetic because of their experiences last year. So much love and offers of whatever I needed. it was/is touching and overwhelming. I cried a few times just from the generosity shown!
I moved into Joy at just being alive! I felt a deep, devotional gratitude in my Heart. I felt I needed to tone down the joy because of the suffering of so many people. Our whole little community was gone! I was told stories of great bravery to help others evacuate from folks I knew. I appreciate the strength we can show when extreme situations call for it. I noticed again my ego getting caught up in all the stories. It was overwhelming. But I returned my focus, over & over to our practice of AWA, the reading, tips, contemplation and journaling. I meditated most days. I let resistance keep me from meditation more than was best for me.
There is an incredible amount of crap to do to rebuild ones life. But It helped to remember how you handle being so busy: stay focused on Awareness and do what’s in front of you to the best of your ability. I still have moments of great sadness. I allow myself to fully experience them. I also have times of incredible Joy at how Life is unfolding. There are any great miracles happening. This experience has increased my desire to Awaken! NTI Revelation, your Clarity and Inner Guidance has increased the desire for Awakening!
With love, Shawna
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Shawna is an Awakening Together member who is in Gentle Healing. She completed MPP, and chose not to be ordained. She shares in the Sanctuary on Tuesday evenings at 9:30pm ET.
