Reflections from the Retreat House
by Isadora Karcher
When I received the notice that there was to be a retreat around the subject of releasing the sense of guilt, unworthiness, or the idea that “I am bad”, I was struck immediately that I HAD to go to this. And thank goodness I listened to this guidance because it was the most profound, helpful workshop I have ever attended, and believe me, I have attended a few over the years! I brought home a ton of notes, a definite deepening of teachings already somewhat in place, and at least one “aha” that cemented into my consciousness some very important news!
I think there were at least two factors at play as to why this workshop rang my chimes the way that it did. For one thing, Regina teaches and articulates from a clearness and “no bs” stance that is so refreshing. Not only does she have a huge library of information stored in her brain and heart, but she presents information with examples, humor, love, and the benefit of having “been there, done that”. I loved the down-to-earth feeling of the retreat…just no pretentiousness, no bs, and lots of friendship.
Also, I was so ready, so very ready, to be well on my way with being done with guilt! (How does that saying go, something about when a student is ready a teacher will appear?) I had gone through what my mentor called a “light infusion” last fall, and I enjoyed several months of being free of guilt, and then it started creeping back in, aaaaaargh! So perhaps you can understand why I jumped on this retreat!
Let me try to summarize the important things I brought home from La Veta.
The biggest “aha” was so simple, but isn’t that the way they usually go? The group was covering the ways we felt guilty, and one of the participants said that she felt like she was boring at a group dinner because she had not spoken much. And the answer from Regina was so simple, but impacted me very deeply; “If God had wanted you to speak God would have put words put in your mouth” . Wow. I mean, I have had such a hard time getting that God and I are one, and what I am doing and saying is what the Creator is doing and saying. Boy, does this fly in the face of what I have been taught, growing up in a country that is largely Christian, and believing that God is good and that I am bad. Wow. Also, learning that love is behind the motivation of ego was huge as well. For a long time I have sought for ways to NOT make ego into the bad guy, and bingo, this was the answer!
I think the other big takeaways are the technique of “neutral narrative” and learning where the ” I am bad” belief comes from. The neutral narrative is where one simply recounts the triggering event from neutral wording, no feelings or evaluations, just a statement of what happened. I got to use this technique even before I left the retreat house around a miscommunication, and it works like a charm! Also, it is so helpful to learn how we build the “I am bad belief.” We do this by:
1. Judging ourselves and others
2. Defending ourselves
3. Judging/attacking others
4. Lying to self/others
5. Wanting the situation to be different than it is
6. Justifying yourself
7. Believing the concrete “proof” that I am bad
Oh goodness, I could go on for forever. I have transcribed my notes, if anyone would like a copy of them I would be delighted to send them to you, just shoot me an email at [email protected] and I will get right with you! But I HIGHLY recommend attending this workshop the next time it is offered, it is the bomb. And let’s not forget one detail, the food is to die for, Shiryl is an amazing cook!
Note: Isadora attend the “Releasing the ‘I Am Bad’ Belief” Retreat at the Awakening Together Retreat House in August 2019. Since attending the retreat, she has decided to move to La Veta. We look forward to embracing Isadora as one of our new La Veta neighbors when she arrives in October.
