Everything we learn here at Awakening Together, and elsewhere in the spiritual writings and teachings we come across, there is an emphasis on the Oneness of everything. And it is this Oneness that we seek as we have come to recognize our sense in separation from each other and what we think of as our Creator or God. What we may not realize during this looking within for the Oneness that eludes us is that we create a bubble existence about us and look out at the non-seekers as them and us. Even those who seem to be on a common path with us we judge because we see their methods, their practices, as weak and unauthentic. And then there are the ones we see as wrong and possibly evil. Let me explain.
At my current level of understanding I find myself returning to A Course in Miracles as my primary guide to awakening. Even though I have not publicly participated in the Gentle Healing Groups this go around, I have been following on a daily basis the Gentle Healing Year 1. I have been somewhat stunned at how different these early lessons appear to me given that I first studied them in 2003, and peripherally since then. But to go at them as a daily exercise I find them as though I had barley read them before. Some of the lessons I have stayed with for numerous days even as the group moved on because I saw in them a great resistance to what they were saying to me and what they were telling me to do. And we all know what resistance means. It is time to take a look at what is going on and why the resistance. We are now at a teaching and learning moment on our way to awakening.
Lesson 121 gob smacked me because the person who came to mind that I hated the most and the person I admired a lot could not possibly be reconciled as One and the same. The lesson suggest that we envision a picture of this person we hate the most and imagine a spark or ray of light coming from his or her picture. All I could see was this smirk or arrogance coming at me from the picture in my mind and there was no way I would ever see a spark of light coming out of that picture. Below I will share with you my contemplation of why this was such a prevalent position that I held.
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Impossible! Yet if I allow that he too is something other than what he appears to be, just like me, and that I have within the Holy Spirit as my guide, then he too is the same. So, if I accept this as true, what is holding me back from seeing some light or a little spark shining through his picture?
Am I truly afraid of the light? Something is not clicking. This is not working for me.
He is a person – just like me
He can awaken – just like me.
He can hate – just like me.
He can be afraid – just like me.
I hate him because I am afraid of him and his actions. If I allow myself to see the light in him, I am tacitly agreeing with him and his ways. I am afraid I will become like him. I am pure and he is tainted, and I have to protect myself from him.
I am right and he is wrong.
He is doing the best he can and the only way he knows how.
He is acting and making decisions from fear.
I don’t want to give him any room to improve in my eyes.
I want to keep him evil.
He must stay evil and wrong.
I need him to stay evil.
If he makes a turn for the better, it is bad for me.
I will lose something he if he loses is evil.
His evil is my perception of him.
Perceptions are made up and accepted as real.
If I begin to see the light in him that means I am letting go my perception of him. If I let go my perception of him, I am giving something up, I am losing some part of me. And giving up my perception of him is giving him something he does not deserve.
All he does is take and I am not going to give him anything.
I feel to give him something I am losing something.
If I give him something, I will be losing my hate for him, and if my hate for him goes away I become exposed and vulnerable.
If I let go my hate for him I will be in grave danger.
I need to hate him!
I must hate him!
I must be angry at him!
He is a dangerous man.
He is a threat to my existence.
I am in deep fear.
Who is this I that is in deep fear?
Who is this I that hates?
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This is where I ended my contemplation. Even though I had minor hits of recognition I still had not come to an understanding of why I had to maintain my opinion of him. And then this morning as I listened to the recording of Regina’s discussion regarding Dr. Jeffery Martin’s interview the full realization of my standing hit me. The discussion between the group and Regina led to the subject of fundamentalism and how religions come to a grinding halt as they plateau. They create doctrines and rituals and begin to isolate themselves from others by believing ‘their way’ is the only way. It is not long after that they find themselves in conflict to defend and protect themselves from the heathen at their door.
As I was walking my dog later on it hit me that I was doing the same thing. This person I hate is doing nothing more than what I am in that he is attempting to find Oneness, as is every religion, political party, government, country, race, and even the scout program that appears to be a wholesome endeavor. All are attempting to return to Oneness by presenting their beliefs to the world and hoping to gather in enough people to create a global critical mass that becomes One.
My endeavor was obviously flawed as I maintained the separation all the while believing that Oneness was what I wanted. When I saw this I suddenly saw that he was doing the same and my feelings toward him made a monumental shift within and I no longer saw him in the same way. I saw the spark I refused to see and recognized his methods that I disagreed with and appeared as wrong, destructive and evil, were nothing but calls for Love and Oneness.
My bubble (balloon) popped and I felt a great weight lift from my shoulders. I give full recognition to the Holy Spirit within helping me see this, for this is what I asked of Him yesterday as I knew I could not see this from the perspective of my ego.
Hal Seeley is an Awakening Together minister and will become Awakening Together’s new Chairman of the Board on July 21, 2019.
