Today, let’s look at the difference between discernment and judgment.
Discernment
Discernment is a type of judgment. We have already said that judgment is comparing, and then favoring or rejecting. That’s what discernment does too. The difference between discernment and judgment is the purpose. The purpose of discernment is to reject ego (with willingness instead of resistance) and favor truth (or ideas that point toward truth).
Today’s reading says that you will often experience confusion about what’s right to do and what’s wrong to do. When ‘right’ means good and ‘wrong’ means bad, right and wrong are judgments, not discernment.
In order to simplify the decision making process for us, today’s reading teaches us how to discern using two ideas: willingness and resistance. When we practice discernment, we favor willingness and reject (decide against) resistance.
Let’s look at an example:
Let’s imagine there is someone I don’t like. He is loud, he always thinks he’s right, and he often speaks with a sarcastic tone of voice that puts others down. I feel very uncomfortable around him. I never know what to say or how to be. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I always end up feeling stupid and awkward when I am around him.
A dear friend is having a dinner party. When she calls to invite me, I am very excited about getting together with her and friends, so I eagerly accept the invitation. However, as we continue to chat on the phone, she mentions she has invited this man I don’t like. I immediately realize that I do not want to go to this party.
After hanging up the phone, my mind spins with all kinds of confusing thoughts. I don’t want to suffer through a dinner party with this man, but I’ve already accepted the invitation. I don’t want to disappoint my friend. I start thinking about excuses that might allow me to cancel without her feeling offended. I select an excuse that might work, and I begin planning the best time to call and tell her. I can’t call too quickly, or she’ll know that I am lying.
When that last thought crosses my mind, I begin to feel guilty. I am lying to a good friend. She doesn’t deserve that. But I really don’t want to be around this man, especially when alcohol is being served. No telling what he will say!
So far, every thought in this imaginary scenario has been judgment. Discernment isn’t being used at all. So let’s imagine that in my confusion and pain, I open NTI randomly and open to NTI Luke 16. After reading it, I journal with inner spiritual intuition. Here’s what’s written:
Notice how afraid you are right now. You are afraid of being in the same room with this man. You are afraid of offending your friend. You are afraid of the guilt of lying. What do these three fears have in common?
Can you see that you are afraid that you are bad?
You are afraid to be around this man because you believe you are unworthy. That belief comes up when you are around him. When it comes up, you believe it again. You don’t like how you feel when you believe you are bad, so you want to avoid him.
You do not want to offend your friend, because you believe that means you are a bad friend.
You do not want to lie to your friend, because you believe the act of lying is proof that you are bad.
You are lost in confusion, because you are trying to avoid the belief that you are bad, but as you try to avoid it, the belief remains intact. Instead of trying to avoid the belief, which reinforces it, why not make the decision that will help you heal the belief?
After reading what was written with inner wisdom, my perspective changes from judgment to discernment. With discernment, I want to favor the choice that will help me heal. So, I decide to go to the party and use it for my healing. This is what happens at the party:
I notice I am afraid to join in the conversation, because I am afraid he will make a sarcastic comment about anything I say. I notice that avoiding talking is avoiding the ‘I am bad’ belief. I decide to be willing to talk if something arises to say.
Since I am tuned in to intuition, I am quieter than usual. I am not expressing opinions about politics or debating spiritual concepts. However, a story is told that prompts a memory of a similar story from my life. I feel the inner prodding to tell the story. I do.
After I tell my story, there is a pause in the conversation. The man that I have feared looks at me, and then busts out laughing. I notice the idea, “He thinks I’m stupid.” Then I notice my dear friend is laughing too. I realize that if I was alone with her and told her this story and she laughed, I wouldn’t interpret it the way I did when he laughed. I realize it is my own judgment that leads me to think I’m bad. This realization feels like an important insight. Grateful to have seen this, I laugh too.
Judgment
I mentioned that the difference between discernment and judgment is the purpose. When I practice discernment, I favor choices that point toward truth or help me purify or awaken. Judgment is different. Judgment makes choices that emphasize ‘me’ as this body-personality-mind in a world that is separate from me.
For example:
- I don’t want to go to the party if he will be there.
- I’m bad if I offend my friend.
- I can avoid offending her if I make up a good excuse she will believe.
- Even if she believes me and isn’t offended, I am bad if I lie to a friend.
Contemplate the difference between discernment and judgment, and then start using discernment to make decisions instead of using judgment.
