Today, we will continue to look at our addiction to mind. We will continue to look at how much we believe mental chatter is me  thinking.

On Day 303, I listed several spiritual practices that are now part of your daily Gentle Healing spiritual practice.

Do you feel your life is centered on those practices?

Do you avoid any of the practices for any reason? Because you don’t enjoy them, because you are too busy, because you have decided they aren’t useful, etcetera?

If you do, where did that idea—I don’t like to do this, or I’m too busy, or this practice doesn’t do anything—come from? Didn’t it come to you as a thought? And didn’t you believe it, and aren’t you avoiding the resisted spiritual practice because you thought that was you  thinking?

If mind said, “I’m too busy to practice awareness-watching-awareness,” didn’t you think that was you  thinking and believe you were too busy? Isn’t that why you skipped meditation? What about when mind said, “I’m tired. I need a break. What’s on TV?” Didn’t you believe that was you  thinking as you reached for the remote control?

Are you free, or are you a slave to the mind because of your addiction to mental chatter?

What’s really going on?

Today, we will continue to look at our addiction to mind. We will continue to look at the belief that mental chatter is me  thinking. As mentioned on Day 300:

Admitting that there is a very serious problem—an addiction—that you cannot control is a critical first step if you are going to heal.

This first step isn’t an intellectual first step. It’s a deep, deep realization.

And so we continue to look, and we will not look away until a realization about the extent of our problem has brought us to our knees in full surrender.

Today, you will begin to notice who/what the mind says you are. You can find surface answers to this question very easily. There are mental identifications like, “I am man/woman” or “I am spiritual student” that you are easily aware of. However, the sly mind has many more messages of identity that it whispers into your mind everyday, which you believe but do not notice. These identities keep you tethered to thought as self.

In order to be free of ego, you need to see that you are not everything the mind says you are. In order to see that, first you have to see what mind says you are.

If you really watch, you will find that mind is not consistent in its identity messages; it is only consistent in assigning identity.

For example, in one moment thought may whisper, “I’m so responsible,” and then in another moment on another day, thought may whisper, “They’re going to see how irresponsible I am.”

As another example, in one moment thought may whisper, “My life is so much better than his/hers,” and then in another moment on another day, thought may whisper, “My life sucks!”

Mind is not giving you a consistent identity like ‘always responsible’ or ‘always the one with the good life.’ Mind’s identity messages shift and change constantly. However, mind is always telling you who/what you are. It is very consistent in giving an identity message.

When you catch yourself caught up in mental chatter, say the mantra, and then look back to notice the “I” or “me” content in the previous chatter. What identity message was being sent through the chatter that was just occurring in the mind?