What Am I?

Today we begin contemplation of our last special theme, “What am I?” However, the answer to this question cannot be found in the words written on the page. It’s interesting, because the italicized words at the top of the special theme are written as if they are the answer to the question, but they are not. The better answer to the question is found in the middle of the second paragraph where it says, “The truth of what we are is not for words to speak of nor describe.”

With that said, let’s look at the words in the italicized paragraph and see what helpfulness we can find there:

• I am … complete and healed and whole: These words are helpful, because they mean that anything you find in yourself that is not “complete and healed and whole” is not what you are. You do not need to believe it or identify with it, because it is not you. You also do not want to indulge it, because it does not represent what you are. Instead, notice it, and then let it go (or accept it as it is).
• In me … guaranteed eternal life: This points to the answer to the question, “What am I?” You are to look within (“in me”) and find that which is eternal. Humans tend to think of “eternal” as a measurement of time—that is, endless time. However, eternal transcends time. When looking for that which is eternal, look for that which is always present, absolutely changeless, and you (rather than an object apparent to you.)
• In me is love perfected, fear impossible, and joy established without opposite: Although these words point to the Effectless, we could say these are the effects we experience as we come to know our Self more and more. This is important to know, because our Self is so subtle it can’t be known in the way an object is known. If it could be known, it would be an object apparent to us rather than what we are. However, the effects of knowing our Self can be known. So, although there is no way to measure your progress in knowing your Self directly, you can measure it indirectly by noticing the effects. An increase in inexplicable love, a reduction in psychological fear and self-preservation, and an increase in causeless joy are the signs of coming to know the Self.
• I am the holy home of God Himself: For consciousness, God is an object that is experienced by a subject. Or said another way, “I” experience the stillness of God. This subject-object experience increases as one awakens, but it is also a sign that awakening is not complete. When the subject-object experience of God ends in a non-dual recognition, awakening has completed itself by returning to the point where consciousness departed from Truth. This point is often called “home.”
• I am … Sinlessness Itself, … purity: With “sinlessness” meaning unaffected and “purity” meaning unchanged, these words point to what you are and will help you recognize it. Their opposite is what you are not and can be deemed untrue.

My sinless brother is my guide to peace. My sinful brother is my guide to pain. And which I choose to see I will behold.

Please read today’s workbook lesson in full. Notice a phrase, sentence or excerpt that you feel particularly attracted to and go into it more deeply through writing.

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Rev. Dawn Fernandez guides a group of committed students through year 1 of Gentle Healing who would like to make consistent, gentle progress toward genuine peace, joy, and love. This group meets weekly on Thursdays at 6-8 pm ET and all members are committed to specific assignments and practices between group meetings.

Listen to the Audio

Please note: it may be necessary to download the audio to listen to it fully.

Homework for the week:

1. Homework Assignment A: ACIM Workbook Lessons 22-28
2. Homework Assignment B: Read NTI Luke, Chapter 5 – 6 (p134-140)
3. Homework Assignment C: Listen to Regina Dawn Akers Classic Audio #7, What I think, I see. This audio is found at awakening-together.org under Audios & Videos, Regina Dawn Akers, Oldies and Classics. Direct link to the audio.

Join us Sunday, January 31st at 1:30 pm ET for Reflections from the Awakening at Home Retreat. Anne Blanchard facilitates this program where recent participants from this online retreat with Regina Dawn Akers discuss and share deeply about how the retreat has helped them to hone their skills in meditation, inquiry, mind-watching, and contemplation. They share insights that occurred as a direct result of having participated in this retreat. All are welcome to come and share or just listen in on what has been discovered.

Homework for this week

1. 1. Homework Assignment A: ACIM Workbook Lessons 15-21
      a.  Note: Lesson 20 asks us to repeat the lesson to ourselves twice per hour, preferably on the half-hour. One can set an alarm to remind one’s self, but it is generally better if one remembers because of the desire to remember. Recommend ending each 30-minute practice with a heartfelt intention to remember again in 30 minutes. Whenever you notice that you forgot, remind yourself how important this is to you and begin again in that moment.
   2. Homework Assignment B: Read NTI Ephesians (p. 339-347).

What is the miracle?

Before leaving this special theme for the next one, let’s circle back and look at this excerpt again:

A miracle is a correction. It does not create, nor really change at all. … It undoes error, but does not attempt to go beyond perception, nor exceed the function of forgiveness. Thus it stays within time’s limits. Yet it paves the way for the return of timelessness and love’s awakening, for fear must slip away under the gentle remedy it brings.

The sense of self is more than self-centeredness. Although the sense of self is not our very existence, it is what feels like existence to us. That means that once the wrong-minded self-centered self ends, the next step in awakening is the end of the sense of existing or the sense of I am. The sense of existing and life are not the same thing. Life, which is what we are, does not end. The sense of existence is an energy that we have mistaken for life.

Remember Nisargadatta’s instructions to the man who said, “I see you smoking!” He said, “At the root is the sense ‘I am’. Go beyond it.”

Here is a brief video by Dr. David Hawkins about his experience with the end of the sense of existing. He calls it The Final Doorway. (The tip continues after the video.)

https://youtu.be/wnYJS5lg72w

Note: Here is another brief video where Dr. David Hawkins describes the same experience with a different emphasis.

As our special theme says, the miracle works within time and perception. It moves us from self-centered existence to existence that reflects reality. This existence could be seen as a spotless mirror. Reality is reflected in the spotless mirror—in this sense of existence—but reflected reality is not reality itself.

The miracle cleans the mirror of the self-centered self. When the mirror is spotless, the miracle’s function has come to an end. It is another movement that takes us beyond time and the mirror, a movement that exceeds perception entirely. That movement is known as the final doorway, the eye of the needle, the last judgment, God’s final step, manonasa, etcetera.

Miracles mirror God’s eternal Love. To offer them is to remember Him, and through His memory to save the world.

Please read today’s workbook lesson in full. Notice a phrase, sentence or excerpt that you feel particularly attracted to and go into it more deeply through writing.

Meditation Options

Guided Meditation Audios

YouTube Meditation Playlist